[MOTIVATOR] No Permanent Failure.

28th July'06

There is no permanent failure

Recently while reading about fear’s and phobia’s I came across a very good excerpt:

“Lord Nelson, England’s famous naval hero suffered from seasickness throughout his life. Needless, to say, the man who destroyed Napoleon’s fleet did not let it interfere with his career. He conquered his sea sickness on his own and let others not know about it.”

If we watch carefully deep inside, most of us have our own little seasickness too, in some aspect of our life or other. For some it may be physical, for other’s it may be psychological. Usually it is a private war carried out quietly within ourselves. No one will pin a medal on us for winning it, but nothing can dim the satisfaction of knowing we did not surrender.

Every one of us is suffering from some problem or the other. We tend to think that we are special individuals born with misfortunes. But, how often we did not know or ignore how others have really conquered and made the best of the situations.

In Art of living they teach us to become a child….. and this will only make you as happy as a child.

Remember, when we were small, how many times did we fumbled while talking steps. Every time a child fumbles while walking, he starts afresh with new determination and confidence. Have you ever seen a child sitting down after a slip? Infact, his energy level is so high that he is in a rush to stand up immediately and starts to walk again with same enthusiasm. From crawling, to walking, to running..their determination seems unstoppable.That’s precisely should be the attitude towards life!! We often get dis-heartened with our failures and forget to give a new start. This not only subdues our enthusiasm, but weakens our inner potential also. We just have become a child and that’s enough to set the pace!

Every difficulty, every handicap, every failure has given us nothing but a lesson to become stronger and a more accomplished person. Just for once if we try to analyze the situations, we will realize that it is these situations and circumstances only which have shaped us the way we are today. So use your experiences, since they make you unique…but don’t ever generalize. If you have failed at something…try again. And this is positive thinking in practice and in reality.

Failure is nothing but a state of mind……… a state when we surrender and refuse to challenge the situations. Just for one, if we gather our inner strength and stand with grim determination, success is not far behind.

From my experience, I can say “there is no permanent failure”. Success is simply mandatory. There can be delays to success but no denials………. Wait n watch, best is coming your way and my way too:)

[OFFICIAL] First Party in New Group.

26th July'2006

Today I went to my first party in new work group. It’s going to be a month now since I joined this group, but didn’t have much interaction with everyone in the group. So, I was bit reluctant to go for the party. Moreover, it was a project party to celebrate success of all the projects which have completed in last six months, so I thought it made no sense for me to go for this party when I have not worked in any project. But, the way everyone asked me to join in for the party despite of my refusal was very heartening and so I went ahead for the party.

It was a nice lunch in Stellar Gymkhana club, greater noida. Weather and beautiful rainfall added charm to the mood of the party. I thoroughly enjoyed every moment of it, though my interaction restricted with small group of people whom I knew well.

Bit of gossip, some jokes, some laughter and nice food were enough to keep us tuned for the party mood. Title giving ceremony was also scheduled for the occasion. Some nice and witty titles were given to many people …… Some of the titles I liked were Mr. Question Mark for the guy who always ready with the set of queries and questions; Mr. Hungry Kya for the guy who loves food like anything! Miss. Elegant, Miss. Shy Part I & Part II, MR. Noble for the guy who is really involved in lot of social activities, MR. Cool Dude and MR. Tea Coffee!

Our SM made sure that he interacted with everyone present in the party not just once but twice or thrice. He went on all tables and indulged himself in informal chat with every group. I feel that was a really nice gesture…… simple and effective :)

When I was in my old group, I used to think that it’s only our group where we have fun, parties’ n celebrations. But, actually I was wrong, it’s nothing like that. To be honest, I liked this small get together better than many of the parties we had in our group. It is not the food and place that make difference, but I guess it is the hospitality and attitude of people that make or break the mood!!

If I allow myself of not being modest this time, then I would also compliment myself for putting that small effort to get accepted in the group. I guess it’s important to find one’s feet in the place where one is planted…….Old is gold - preserve it, but we should not forget that new is silver waiting to be turned into gold….. Nice philosophy.. No?? Has to be after all it’s my creation, and I try to follow this also……. I pray I never fail in this!!

One should accept to get accepted is my theory and I felt it helped today.

Though I was altogether new in the group but not even for once I felt out of place or abandoned…….. I felt a conscious effort was made to make very one feel comfortable. I enjoyed this informal induction program :) after a formal induction.

[D-TO-D] Are we so Selfish?

16th May'2006

Today I was talking to one of my friends. She as very upset and her tears were beyond control. She was bitterly crying and her body was numb. I was short of words to console her. Unlike other times, this time it was not fear of death that was bothering her, but this it was her insecurity that was killing her. Her prolonged illness has not only affected her physical health but has also affected her emotional well being. She is slowly trying to accept her medical state, but has no control over her emotional state. The belief that no one loves her, people have started maintaining distance with her has taken deep roots in her heart. She was frustrated and disgusted. I don’t know whether it is right or it is her mis-conception, but she somehow feels that everyone, her colleagues, her friends, husband, family, parents and now even kids are going away from her and all have started disliking her. Today all my efforts to console her went futile.

After meeting her, way back to my seat, I was generally trying to analyze the situation. I tried to figure out that what is wrong and where. To most of questions, I get answer from within. To this problem, the answer that I got didn’t solve my doubts, but rather confused me.

What I realized was that, it is her basic nature that is creating problem for her. She is a very open person & freely discusses her problems, concerns etc. with people around her. And, now, when these days she is totally dis-heartened with her illness and is completely broken in heart, she more easily and frequently speaks out her heart when anyone enquires about her health or general well-being. With the little knowledge of psychology I have, I guess it is the natural human tendency that if one is insecure inside, then he tries to find some comfort level or empathy outside by speaking their heart out, which can somewhat boost their confidence level. Basically, one becomes so much weak emotionally, that they don’t have control over emotions. But, only few people, who hear the sufferers ply, understand their state of mind; whereas others show their resentment over the diseased state. I guess this is the reason why people want to circumvent talking from her.

I didn’t want to comment on whose right and who’s wrong, but I surely got my lesson from here. I learned that if you want people to love you, be with you, talk to you, then you have to be positive in your attitude, in your manners. You will have to be non-complaining and avoid cribbing. One needs to create positive vibes around themselves, so that people don’t keep away from them. Anyways negativity always repels.

Though, I took this learning, but I got really confused with the answer that I got from inside my heart. I understand that today life has become very complex and that everyone is engrossed in handling their own apprehension and problems, but isn’t it inhumane that we don’t even have a sympathetic ear to someone’s problem.

This reminded me of some very good lines I read in the book "Monk who sold his ferrari", which says: We might not be able to control the weather or the traffic or the moods of all those around us. But, we most certainly can control our attitude towards these events.

If we can’t offer a helping hand or solution, then at least we can try to speak two kind words to lighten someone’s burden. Aren't we becoming too selfish…… though we can’t contribute significantly to improve someone’s medical state, but at least we can do our level best to give someone mental and emotional peace and if not much, just not ignore the one in need!!

God forbids, but we never know when we will be in need of such a shoulder and then if world turns same to us then ……….